Stop trying to be perfect – Be relevant instead!

I want to be honest and climb on a BIG soap box for a moment:

We need you to be relevant, not perfect!

I am a bit tired of hearing so many people telling me that they are not perfect, that they think they should be perfect and that as long as they are not perfect they can’t charge for their services or help other people.

Who do we think we are that perfection is even an option?

Are we not always learning and growing?

Are we not always changing and adapting?

Are we not constantly shifting and moving, exposing ourselves to new people and information that changes lives?

Wanting to be perfect means wanting to stop growing.

It means wanting to stop changing and experiencing things we don’t know yet.

Why in the world would we, as transformational healers and coaches want to do that?

What makes us believe that we need the perfect childhood or else we will always be stuck in healing one more thing about us?

What makes us believe that our past can hold us back?

We are moving forward, wether we like it or not.

We are growing and expanding daily, no matter what happened to us when we were five years old.

We are learning important life skills, gain wisdom and open doors that we wouldn’t even know exist if it wasn’t for the, often hurtful, story that taught us this.

Why are we fighting this truth and instead try to find out just another thing that could help us stay small?

What if we weren’t even “stuck”?

What if we were not a victim of our past, but made a conscious decision to not do anything at all with all the wisdom we’ve been given?

What if being stuck was a choice that we can make just as well as we can make any other choice?

From way over a decade of experience with helping people I can tell you with certainty that everybody has a traumatic story in their background. Actually, most people have many, many stories.

And I have learned to never compare one to the other, trying to see which one is worse.

Instead, I believe that, if it is important to my client, it is important to me and our session. We work on taking the charge out of what happened, healing the memories, so to speak, with EFT Tapping.

But then what?

What do we do with that experience?

Does it loose its importance just because it looses it’s traumatic feeling?

I believe that the opposite is the truth:

Now, as we are able to talk about what happened, we can also talk about what we learned.

We have a story, not just knowledge.

We know who we are because of, and not in spite of what we experienced in our lives.

At which time does a life lived scream “I have to be perfect!?”

What is perfect? What is healed?

What if we just got this thought out of our minds for a moment and instead focused on being relevant?

Who we are and what we’ve learned is relevant to others.

Not because we are perfect, but because they need us to be us, prove that it can be done, show that, yes, everybody has the right to live, even with a traumatic past and unsupportive people in our past.

As a healer and success coach, I want to inspire you to look past the fact that you got hurt.

Of course you did!

That’s why you are who you are today.

But what you do with this experience is truly up to you.

You can get stuck in playing small, find just another thing wrong with you and your past and try to find just another block that stops you from being relevant.

Or you can do the opposite and accept that healing should be a part of our daily spiritual and human “hygiene”, the thing we do on an ongoing basis to keep ourselves on track, and in alignment with what we are here to do.

We can accept that our lives purpose is NOT to heal ourselves and become “perfect”, but to learn to take responsibility and be relevant for those who need us to help and inspire them.

I know that this thought might feel a bit “out of the box” for some, and I apologize if I hurt any feelings.

But please know that I see so much more in you than you might see yourself.

Most people do.

Most people think much higher of you than you think of yourself.

Just own it and be relevant to someone.

Change some lives because of and not in spite of who you are and what you’ve learned.

I can promise you: You will surprise yourself with how “perfect” you will begin to feel, once you understand that everything in your life might just be in perfect order.


We need you to be relevant, not perfect!


  1. Junda on July 11, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    Amen, my sentiments exactly. I hear it all the time from people, “I need to better myself”. Compared to what is the question to ask.

  2. Martha on July 7, 2013 at 7:06 pm

    This is the most wonderful description of a joyful approach to life that I can imagine. And it’s so brief and succinct! I know I will refer to it repeatedly. Thank you, Ingrid.

    • Ingrid Dinter on July 8, 2013 at 3:25 pm

      Wonderful, Martha. I am glad you can relate to it!

  3. Helen on July 4, 2013 at 11:34 am

    Bravo, bravo! Well said, Ingrid. We do all have our traumas but they are also our gifts. I love the last paragraph! Thanks for the thoughts.

  4. Dan Shafer on July 3, 2013 at 8:41 pm

    Great post, Ingrid! The email you sent that drew me here was so classically good marketing…provided me with useful, insightful, actionable information and didn’t try to sell me anything. You’re obviously good at this!

    I just wanted to add a slight twist on this whole idea of perfection. Viewed somewhat differently, the reason not to worry about perfection is that you already ARE perfect. The old saying that, “God doesn’t make any junk” isn’t just a cute phrase; its a truism. Regardless of your religious or spiritual path, you almost certainly believe two things:

    You are the product of creation of a perfect being.
    Your purpose is to live a life that leads you back to reunion with that being.

    Relax into your perfection. Live your life so that you are always delighted with who you are, where you are and what you have, and eager for more.

    • Ingrid Dinter on July 4, 2013 at 12:23 am

      Thanks so much for your feedback, Dan. Agreed. Even if many people don’t feel this way. Others judge us much less than we judge ourselves.

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